Alyssa Kulesa

Deep(er) dive · February 7, 2023 · 3 min read

Planes, trains, and [moving to] Spain

“I’m not moving again for five years!”

These are the kinds of words you utter and then instantly regret. Normally.

The depth of certainty held within them pretty much guarantees the opposite will come true.

But boy, am I glad I didn’t stop them from tumbling out of my mouth a year and a half ago because I would never have predicted the move I’m about to make.

The Backstory

A year ago, Geoff and I went to Vegas to watch the Super Bowl with friends, just like we’ll be doing this weekend.

On the way back, through a weird sequence of airline events, we ended up with $1200 in flight credits each.

So we decided to book a trip to Greece.

While strolling the charming streets of Chania, Crete, we started talking about what it would be like to move to Europe. 

Being self-proclaimed nerds, we immediately made a very extensive spreadsheet of ex-pat cities that interested us. 

Assessment criteria in our spreadsheet included things like: healthcare, safety scores, walkability, number of days of sunshine. (Give me allll the sunshine).

We thought we’d get around to exploring each city in the next five years and move in the next 5-7 years.

But then, the idea became stickier than molasses, and before we knew it, we had booked flights to Europe. 😳

Over five weeks this past November, we explored each spreadsheet-topping city.

It was a complex mix of planes and trains all over Spain (and one city in Portugal).

Our intention?

Discovering which city felt like it could be our new home (and somehow agreeing on which city it was). 

We never thought we’d fall in love with a city and in love with a house on the same trip.

But clarity of vision has a sneaky way of helping things fall into place, and that’s exactly what happened. 

So on top of planning a wedding and each of us running a business, we’re now moving to Spain. Next month!

I’ve never been one to only accept what the status quo has to offer. 

But living a life beyond the status quo requires an intense commitment to questioning everything. 

Things like…

  • “What would it look like if we didn’t live in the US?” 
  • “What type of life could we create in Spain?”
  • “What if cocktails didn’t need to cost $18 each?”
  • “Is eating something cooked in three-week-old fry oil actually going to make me feel better tonight?”
  • “Do I really need to sit under crappy office lighting every Monday through Friday?”

Questions unlock awareness. Awareness affords us choice. Choice reminds us of our agency. And remembering our agency if every situation is a portal to our most authentic living.

Questioning and subsequently knowing what we want doesn’t guarantee that those things will come true right away. But it guides our attention, and things shift when we give them our energy.

Are you giving your attention to the status quo? Or something more stirring in your soul? 

Where your attention goes, your energy flows. 

What a phrase, right!? It rolls off the tongue with ease, so it seems like it should be just as easy to remember, but it’s one of the hardest to put in practice over and over again.

When we do remember to pay attention to where we’re directing our attention, it’s amazing what starts to happen.

xx, 

Alyssa 

P.S. I still really hate the process of moving. If you’re one of the people who effortlessly floats through moving logistics, I admire you.

P.P.S Have you been to Málaga on the southern coast of Spain? I think I may need to lead a retreat there.

Written by Alyssa

Known to spend an inordinate amount of time watching the birds in her backyard. Always down for a deep conversation.

My story →

Filed under

Write back

Did this stir something up for you? I’d love to know. I read all the replies and share some here. xx, Alyssa

Keep reading

All writing →

  • Deep(er) dive

    When knowledge distorts your clarity

    It’s midnight here in Spain, and I’m headed to Chicago in 6 hours to kick off the wedding week! Today I’m spicing up your inbox with 10 quick thoughts on intellect, creativity, and originality. I’m planning to turn these 10…

  • Poem

    Who Am I?

    WHO AM I? be sexier, be funnier, be thinner, be prettier. “Be you.” But who is that? too smart. too thin. too sexy. too loud. “Be you.” But not too much. __________ __________ __________ I am. And that’s enough. -Alyssa…

  • Poem

    Running Water

    The wall grew taller The river grew deeper As she drowned in her fears The wall became shorter The river became shallower As she dared to share What had been dammed before

  • Poem

    Doors and Dreams

    There’s a whole world you’ve never seen because you’ve never dared to dream beyond the borders of what you were taught to love. There’s a whole world you’ve never explored because you’ve been scared to choose a door fearing the…