So…can we talk about dropping those old beliefs?
Inner Work
What’s secretly running your life, and how to change it without it feeling heavy or taking ages to unwind.
If you’ve ever caught yourself mid-spiral and wondered who’s actually in charge, welcome. This is the inside job, with more curiosity than homework. Depth, yes. Grim, no.
What is inner work?
Inner work is getting to know what’s unconsciously running the show (your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and old stories) and choosing, on purpose, what you do with it.
It’s getting to know the voices in your head well enough that they stop grabbing the steering wheel.
The thoughts on repeat, the feelings you’d rather skip, the beliefs you picked up before you could vote and the stories you tell yourself about who you are.
What it isn’t: It isn’t a personality overhaul, a punishment for being a flawed human or a project you finish. And it doesn’t have to be heavy. A lot of it happens while you’re doing the dishes.
How I approach it: Naming things sets us free because once we can name something we can change it. We can’t change what we can’t see. Once something has a name, you can question it, negotiate with it and choose on purpose instead of by accident. Expect better questions, reframes, poetry, and insight, inspiration, and instigation to get more of what you want and less of what you don’t.
The rest of this page is filled with resources to help.
Start here
A curated collection to get started
The letters
Inner work with levity.
Fresh perspectives on peeling back the onion that is our inner world.
Everything on Inner Work
Take your pick.
Conditioning and patterns
Relationship to emotions
Self-talk and the inner critic
Attention, observing and wonder
Fear, uncertainty and courage
Stories and beliefs
Self-inquiry and growth
Money beliefs
Self-trust and inner authority
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Poem
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Shame, Trauma, and Self-Worth with Gail Wisner
Episode
Identity and becoming
Perspective and reframing
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This Will Shrink Your Problems
Episode
Mindsets to Adopt
Mindsets you’ll see on repeat around here. They’re ways of seeing people that make the hard conversations easier.
It turns out life gets easier when we learn to observe ourselves.
Ladyballs 🍒
My official term for having the courage to embrace choice.
Look up
My 10-minute talk on attention, courage and what we miss when we’re staring at the sidewalk crack.
The rally cry I’ll sing until the cows come home.
A poem for when keeping it in starts costing more than letting it out.
Questions people ask
Am I enough?
Of course you are, but that doesn’t always mean it’s easy to remember. This question usually pops up when you’re measuring yourself with someone else’s ruler. Being enough isn’t something you earn by doing more; it’s something you practice remembering.
How do I stop overthinking?
Let’s start with a different question: what is overthinking giving you, or doing for you? Often, it’s your mind trying to keep you safe by rehearsing every possible outcome. Find what it’s protecting you from, and you can give it a smaller job.
FULL ESSAY Coming SOON
What is the inner critic?
A part of you that sometimes grabs the steering wheel and loves to shout. It usually thinks it’s helping, keeping you from embarrassment or failure; it just has terrible delivery. Give it a name (mine is Polly) and you can talk with it instead of taking orders.
How do I forgive myself?
Learning to be gentle with ourselves is an art form. It’s helpful to start by separating what you did from who you are and asking what you’d say to a friend in the same spot. You can take full responsibility without continuing to torture yourself.
FULL ESSAY Coming SOON
What is a victim mentality?
It’s the belief that life keeps happening to you and you don’t get a say. Most of us slip into it sometimes; the way out is noticing where you do have a choice, even a small one. Let’s talk about responsibility, agency and taking your power back.
FULL ESSAY Coming SOON
Why am I so hard on myself?
High standards are great until they become secret saboteurs. Usually we’re hard on ourselves because somewhere along the way, it looked like the way to stay safe or be well liked. It made sense then. The useful question now is whether it’s still working.
Ask Alyssa
Have a question about working with your inner world to get more of what you want and less of what you don’t? Ask it here.
Dear you,
Sent! Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll take a look and you might see my answer in an email, post, or on the show.
xx, Alyssa
Next door
The frame
Make it Mentionable
It all comes down to the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell others.
Hub
Relationship Dynamics
Once you can see what’s running under the surface, you can communicate better with everyone around you.
Want to talk it through? Perspective consults are 90-minute conversations for when something important is trying to become clear.
Your turn
Fresh perspectives on the layers of life.
