Alyssa Kulesa

Deep(er) dive · May 26, 2021 · 3 min read

Part 3: Boxes make me panic.

Pre-P.S. This is part of a quick series breaking down how to answer the question, “So what now?” Take a peek at Part 1: So that now? and Part 2: What do you want? if you haven’t already.


“Who on earth is this for?”

This question about killed me until it didn’t. 

You see, I’m claustrophobic and any time I think about getting trapped in a box, I panic. I don’t even like getting twisted under the covers in the middle of the night. So whenever I’m creating something new, I have to consciously remind myself that having a specific message and knowing specifically who this creation will serve is not a permanent box I’m trapping myself in. 

Naming a Niche

The thing that gets in the way of determining a niche or a segment to serve is often the threat of feeling boxed in. But it can also be a lack of clarity on what we truly want. 

If we create something for people we don’t love serving, it will be apparent. So first, it’s about us. Then it’s about them. 

It’s a process of listening to our audiences and listening to ourselves. 

So when faced with answering, “who is this for?” I knew I needed to focus on what I wanted first. To tap into those desires, I broke the question down into these other questions: 

Unboxing Questions

1). Who do I love to work with?

2). Who do I despise working with? 

3). Who isn’t a fit for this creation? (This is also my signal for knowing who I don’t have to focus on—we can’t please everyone). 

4). What ultimately unites the group of people who will buy this? 

This last question is the one that usually helps me free myself from niching claustrophobia. It helps me focus on the right people rather than trying to focus on everyone. 

When we know who we’re for, we can take a deeper dive into the problem we’re passionate about solving. (That’s tomorrow’s email by the way and I’m going into detail about some trends I’m against right now).

Do you have a hard time defining who you love working with or where you desire to focus more of your efforts? Or, do you have crystal clear clarity? I’d love to know. 

With so much love, 

xx Alyssa

P.S. Here’s a peek at one of my answers to this question…I love working with people who want to design their lives with intention and are willing to be consistently curious. I love working with people who know they have more to offer, are continuous learners, and are ready to ask themselves questions like, “how might I be getting in my own way here?” or “how can I look at this situation from a different perspective?”

Written by Alyssa

Known to spend an inordinate amount of time watching the birds in her backyard. Always down for a deep conversation.

My story →

Filed under

Write back

Did this stir something up for you? I’d love to know. I read all the replies and share some here. xx, Alyssa

Keep reading

All writing →

  • Deep(er) dive

    When knowledge distorts your clarity

    It’s midnight here in Spain, and I’m headed to Chicago in 6 hours to kick off the wedding week! Today I’m spicing up your inbox with 10 quick thoughts on intellect, creativity, and originality. I’m planning to turn these 10…

  • Poem

    Who Am I?

    WHO AM I? be sexier, be funnier, be thinner, be prettier. “Be you.” But who is that? too smart. too thin. too sexy. too loud. “Be you.” But not too much. __________ __________ __________ I am. And that’s enough. -Alyssa…

  • Poem

    Running Water

    The wall grew taller The river grew deeper As she drowned in her fears The wall became shorter The river became shallower As she dared to share What had been dammed before

  • Poem

    Doors and Dreams

    There’s a whole world you’ve never seen because you’ve never dared to dream beyond the borders of what you were taught to love. There’s a whole world you’ve never explored because you’ve been scared to choose a door fearing the…