“Do you see a tree, or do you see a reflection of yourself?”
This question hit my mind right before sitting down to write you. So now I’m asking you, reader. And before you ask, no, I’m not on drugs.
I’m aware it’s an esoteric question.
But I’ve noticed humans have this weird tendency to separate themselves from nature.
Instead of recognizing that we’re of nature, we think we’re separate from it.
Some humans even go so far as to think we can control it. Just ask the guys who think geoengineering is a good idea.
Humans and nature are one and the same.
Given we inhabit these complex systems called bodies, it’s easy to think we’re separate from nature, but we’re much better served when we remember we’re not.
When we remember to get out of our heads, nature is full of wisdom.
And nature is all about cycles.
For example, the tree outside my window reminds me that cycles are a natural part of life and not to be so hard on myself during transitions.
Trees, Cycles, and Not Being an A**hole to Yourself
A tree sheds its leaves in the winter, grows new ones in the spring, bears fruit, drops fruit, and looks fabulous in the fall when it magically changes colors.
Like trees, we also go through cycles, though, more often than not, society encourages us to forget this fact opting instead for the monotony of the hamster wheel.
But there’s immense power in cycles…
Cycles Bring Perspective
If we’re always in motion, it can be hard to recognize if we’ve wandered off course. Remembering things happen in cycles affords us perspective, and a dose of perspective can be life-changing.
Cycles Lead to Growth
Sometimes we get off course. If we devalue cycles and think we always have to be at the peak, embracing the changes that ultimately lead to our growth becomes much more difficult.
Cycles Add Color
If every day looked like today in Colorado–grey, dreary, and generally like a kindergartner painted the sky with only one brush stroke–I would not only want to fall into a deep sleep for all of eternity, I wouldn’t know how to appreciate the spring. Cycles add color to our lives.
And most importantly…
Cycles Remind Us We Aren’t Failures
I probably should have started and ended with this one because it’s the most important. Sometimes things end. Sometimes we quit or leave. When these things happen, our brains often flood us with messages of failure.
If we let our minds take the reins unchecked, they can whisper things like:
“Oh, you got divorced? That relationship failed.”
“Oh, you quit your job because you wanted to spend more time with your family? Why couldn’t you manage both? You’re a failure.”
Trees don’t have the curse and the blessing of the human mind; they’re not standing there contemplating if they’re a failure for losing all their leaves.
Things end. Sometimes you fall and fall apart. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. When we focus on failure, we forget the beauty of new beginnings that accompanies every cycle.
Humans love and chase certainty. But the only thing certain is uncertainty.
Appreciating endings in the context of cycles is much more empowering than feeling like shit about ourselves for not making it “til death do us part.”*
What cycle of life are you in? Are you shedding things that aren’t working? Are your creative impulses blossoming? Are you changing colors at work or at home?
I hope this serves as a reminder to be compassionate with yourself.
After all, you and the tree outside are made of the same stuff. Rest assured, the tree doesn’t feel bad that it’s waiting until spring to burst with color again–and burst again it will. Just like you.
xx,
Alyssa
* Geoff and I are getting married in May, and while we’re both fully committed to our relationship and building a life together (in Spain!**), that line won’t be uttered at our wedding ceremony.
** Geoff and I are moving to Spain! But I’ll save the story of that new life cycle for another day.